Leaving is Bittersweet

     As I write this, it is 8:30 pm in my little corner of France.  Europe went to Daylight Savings Time last night so now we're back to being 8 hours ahead of Colorado time.  I am all packed.  I have cleaned the cottage the last two days and so have very little that needs to be done tomorrow before I start loading the rental car to head to Toulouse.  I will spend Monday night there near the airport and then will take the hotel's shuttle Tuesday morning to get me to the airport around 7:30ish.
     My flight leaves at 9:55am.  The first leg is Toulouse/Frankfort.  Then it's a long Frankfort/Denver flight.  CoCo is all set with the paperwork that she needs to reenter the US.  I took her to the vet in Vic on Thursday.  We met a goat coming out as we were going in.  I love rural France!  (I doubt the goat was getting his traveling papers.)
     This afternoon I was given a lovely "going away" party.,  H and G had invited their (and now my) English friends, Elaine and Tony.  Elaine baked two wonderful cakes - a Victorian sponge cake with strawberry jam and cream, and a chocolate cake.  Hélène made tea and my French neighbor (staying in the gite nextdoor) brought beignets and a lovely peach wine spritzer. 
     It was a beautiful sunny afternoon so we helped set up the patio furniture, which had been in storage for the winter, and sat outside to enjoy the sunshine and blue skies as well as the flowers and greenery of Spring.

My Going Away Party on the Patio

Me with Hélène and Giuseppe - my "family" in France

     This has been my home for the past seven months.  I can't imagine a better place to have lived for my French experience.  And so saying "Goodbye" has not been easy.  It will be hard to say farewell to H and G tomorrow.  It will miss seeing them everyday.  I will miss seeing Hélène at her computer when I take CoCo out for her morning walk.  We wave as I pass by her window which looks out onto the walkway.  It will miss seeing Giuseppe as he's working in the yard and garden.  They have been so good to me!  Their friendship has been a constant source of help and comfort.
     I know I'll be back.  This place is in my soul now and I must return!  But for now the bend in the road is taking me back to my beloved Colorado.  I am so anxious to see everyone there again!  Andy, and my dear friends.  Cindy is coming on Friday to spend a few weeks.  It will be great to see my "babies" at the zoo and to get back to my weekly and monthly routines with friends.
      I am so thankful that all of you have joined me on this journey.  I had no idea when I set out that I would be returning quite so soon.  But that's the fun thing about a journey - you are never quite sure just how everything will turn out! 

Countdown to Colorado

     There's a flurry of activity surrounding me at the moment as I prepare to return to Colorado a week from Tuesday.  I have lists and piles and more lists and more piles . . .  And I must admit to shedding a few tears as I think of leaving this beautiful place that has been home for the past seven months and that I have come to love - almost as much as I love Colorado.
     But I am ready to return to my life that I love in the Springs and to see all those people I love and have missed since I left the end of August. 
     I had a busy past few days which I will tell you about today as they were quite eventful - each in a different kind of way.  Thursday I drove south towards the mountains to visit with friends who live outside of Lannemezan and have a fabulous panoramic view of the Pyrenees!  I first met Marianne and Brian on Facebook a few years ago.  They own a holiday cottage and bedrooms that they rent out and are dog lovers - Marianne is active with a rescue group in that region.  So we have many things in common. 

A view of the mountains that I took on my last visit with Marianne and Brian

     I had visited them when I first arrived in France and spent the night in one of their bedrooms on a return trip from Spain.  CoCo did OK with their dogs, Monty and Maddie, who really wanted to play with her, but she just doesn't understand the concept of play.  This time she seemed more at ease with them, but still spent the entire visit in my lap!
     Marianne had baked an apple walnut cake and fixed a pot of tea.  We sat outside and enjoyed the view and were entertained by her dogs and the neighbor dog who seems to prefer their home to his!  I had some doggy items that I wanted to give her for the rescue group as I have no more need of them and don't want to pack them.  So it all worked out great.
     Friday was the "selling the car" day which didn't go as well as I had hoped.  I left for Toulouse (about an hour and a half drive) in the morning and arrived a little early for the appointment I had booked at the "sell your car" ("vendezvotrevoiture") business.  After looking it over, he gave me a much lower estimate than had appeared on their website calculator.  I was really disappointed!  However, I did not want to have to advertise and try to find a buyer and deal with all the paperwork myself, so I agreed to their price.  Other than that everything went quite smoothly - paperwork taken care of, title transferred as well as the money which was sent to my French bank account.
     Then I took a taxi (rather expensive, I thought) to the airport to pick up the rental car I had reserved.  That was a pleasant surprise as they put me in a much larger/nicer car than I had booked for the same price.  Of course now I have to get used to driving a stick shift again for these last few days.  I don't know what the French have against automatics!!
     Yesterday was one of my favorite days since Beth left.  H and G took me to a most wonderful restaurant in the tiny medieval village of Basaste about 45 minutes north of us.  The restaurant, called "Le Moulin des Saveurs", is in what used to be part of a 13th century fortified mill on a little stream.  We ate inside a stone cavity that went back into the limestone hillside.  It was so charming and the cuisine was superb!!  Then they drove me around to some nearby villages that I had not yet visited and we enjoyed the beautifully sunny day and the very enjoyable company.

The 13th century fortified mill and stone bridge

A closer view of the mill

The outside of the restaurant

Inside the restaurant

Walking from the car towards the restaurant and mill

     So now comes the final week of getting everything done - packing, cleaning, sorting, washing, etc.  I will leave my fairytale cottage in the Gers on Monday to drive back to Toulouse, return the rental car and spend the night near the airport for my Tuesday morning departure.  It is coming up fast.  Then who knows what might lie around the next bend once I return to Colorado?  If you stay with me a little while longer, you can join me on my next great adventure. 

The Colors of the Gers - A Poem

I am convinced the maker of
That box of sixty-four
Crayons that I loved so as a child
Had spent some time in Southwest France
And noticed for himself
The myriad of colors - tame and wild

I never knew that there could be
So many shades of green
Oak and laurel, cyprus, birch and pine
Moss and cactus, yucca, palm
Winter wheat and grass
The dainty leaves that dance upon the vine

And then there are the other varied
Crayons in that box
The artist's palette - every shade and hue
The colors of the rainbow there
And every shade between
Pink and yellow, violet, red and blue

The deep blue of the mountain sky
Pink blossoms on the trees
The yellow daffodils which welcome Spring
The golden stones of farms and barns
The wispy clouds at dusk
In shades of rose, the hawks upon the wing

What color would you give to frost
Which sparkles on the trees
And makes the spider's web appear like lace
Or how about the water in the
Ponds which fill in Spring
With shades of blue and green upon the face

I walk along the country lanes
And wonder at the views
Of nature in this region I adore
The colors of the Gers are bright
The shades are dipped in Time
Memorialized in poetry and lore

I am just one more pilgrim on these
Paths in woodlands old
Who gazes on these colors - tame and wild
And feels so small surrounded by
The pull of Life so vast
And once again I am that little child

Colors of the Fall

Colors of the Mountains

Colors of a Vineyard

The golden stone and the blue blue sky

The artist's palette of colors

The Kaleidoscope Turns, the Compass Shifts

(I couldn't make up my mind on which title I liked best for this post so I decided to use them both!  You'll understand why if you keep reading.)
  
     I have always been fascinated with kaleidoscopes.  I love how the little pieces of colored glass fall into different places each time you turn the cylinder.  And then somehow you have a brand new pattern - a new perspective.  It's the same number of pieces of glass, but now they look different.  Just as beautiful, but different.  Isn't that the same with life?
     One of my first blog posts was entitled "My Eastward Pointing Compass."  I talked about how my heart was looking towards France and my desire to move there, to follow my dream of living in France someday.  And what a marvelous dream it has been!!  I wouldn't change it for the world!
     But . . . .  I think it was towards the end of November, around Thanksgiving in the States, when it hit me that I would be spending the holidays away from Andy and everyone I loved back in Colorado.  I also found that when I talked about "home", that it was Colorado that I meant, not France.
     I had planned to fix a traditional American Thanksgiving meal for H and G and my neighbors in the next cottage.  I brought all my recipes, but then found out that many of the ingredients I take for granted as being able to get in the States, are not available in France.  So I was disappointed that I couldn't make a Thanksgiving meal.  I eventually made a "sort-of" Thanksgiving meal - just for me as my oven and fridge are small and not able to hold all the usual dishes.  But it was far from what I had planned.  
     I loved being in France at Christmastime.  I had never experienced that before.  And here in the beautiful SW of France it was truly magical with the village Christmas markets and lights and traditional activities.  But, oh how I missed Andy and my usual Christmastime activities in Colorado.
     After the exhausting search for a car, I was in no mood to start looking for a house knowing that would be many times more difficult and stressful.  It was then that I realized I am living my dream right now.  I don't have to own a house and stay committed to living in France indefinitely to enjoy being here.  I love being here, but I want to go "home".
     My definition of home has changed some.  I used to think "Home is Where the Heart Is", and to an extent that is true.  However, I have come to realize that "home" is where the people you love are.  I love being here, but I love even more my family and friends back in the States.   And I miss them terribly.
     One of my realizations while living here and talking to ex-pats, mainly from England, is that most of them moved here to escape a life that they found unfulfilling or stressful; they didn't like the weather where they were, they were searching for sunshine and warmth, somewhere they could be outside most of the time and be healthier.  They moved here as a way out of a place they no longer wanted to be.
     But that was not at all why I came here.  I have never stopped loving Colorado!  I just wanted to be able to see what it was like to actually live in this country that I love so much.  I've been here almost seven months and have loved all that I've been able to see and do as a "resident alien".  Oh, I've had my share of stressful situations and difficult times with bureaucracy.  I think that exists in every country!

One of my favorite sights ever!

     Life here has truly been grand - like living in a fairytale.  Everywhere I look I see something that I love - the rolling green hills, the church steeple in the neighboring village, the castle tower on the hillside as I drive the 30 minute route into Auch, the absolutely breathtaking beauty of the cathedral in Condom just 20 minutes away, the Thursday morning market in Eauze .  And add to that, my wonderful new friends, Hélène and Giuseppe!  I don't know what I would have done without their constant help, guidance, encouragement, laughter and daily presence in my life!  I owe them a debt of gratitude and have offered them a standing invitation to come spend time with me in Colorado - if they can figure out how to leave their business for that long.

The neighboring hillside

The church in Vic

A medieval tower in a nearby town

Inside the Cathedral St Pierre in Condom

     I will be moving back to Colorado three weeks from Tuesday - March 28th.  As a good friend has said, "another chapter of your life begins".   Who knew there could be so many chapters of your life beyond retirement? ha!  The thing is, I miss my life in Colorado more than I love my life here.  I never left the Springs because I was unhappy or unsettled or looking for a better place to live.  I have always loved living in the Springs.  It has always been and always will be "home" for me.
     I am so happy that I followed my dream and came to this lovely little corner of SW France - if only for seven months.  It has all been worth it.  (Not sure CoCo would agree with that!)  AND, I'll get to enjoy two Springs this year - my favorite season.  How is that possible, you ask?  Well, Spring has arrived in the Gers.  The daffodils and pansies are blooming.  The irises and tulips are ready to bloom.  The farmers are getting ready to plant their summer crops.  The grass is green and the leaves are beginning to show on the trees that didn't lose their leaves over the winter.

Flowers at the cottages

     When I get back to Colorado the end of this month, it will still be winter.  Colorado has our biggest snows in March and April and then we'll start to see green appear.  So I'll be back in time to see Springtime in the Rockies.  There is so much about the Springs that I have missed and can't wait to get back into my weekly/monthly routine of lunches and dinners  and movies with friends (I have really missed Mexican food and buttered popcorn!), my weekly zoo visits - my babies won't remember me! - seeing Andy every week, hiking in the Garden of the Gods and seeing Pikes Peak everyday.
     You have all been so wonderful throughout this journey!  I never thought I would have so many followers and readers of my blog.  I have felt your encouragement and love all along the way.  Sorry I won't be here for those of you who said you would come and visit me.  But let me know when you're planning to come and I can give you the names of some great holiday home owners! :-)
      I plan to continue the blog for awhile as I turn over this next chapter in my life.  It won't  be the same, obviously, as sharing my adventures in France.  But I will have a car to buy and eventually a house and that will offer its own kind of adventure if you're still willing to join me.  
     I am so very appreciative of your willingness to accompany me as I have traveled around the many bends in the road to get here.  Your presence has been felt everywhere I go.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart - a piece of which will always be in this little corner of France! Next week I'll share with you some of my favorite things from my life in France.   Merci!.